The Over Blogger filled me in on as many details about the King Fear as she could. Unfortunately, it wasn’t much. What we know is that the King Fear is the most powerful of all Fears, with all of their abilities combined together. He leads the Fears in secret, and is the cause of all misery and suffering within the Mythos. The Over Blogger has never seen him, making his true form a mystery.
Staying in one place for too long left us exposed, and as a result it wasn’t long before another Fear appeared to attack us! His face was blank save for an abnormally large and toothy smile, and he wore a bright multicolored suit over his long and spindly limbs.
“Behold, Omega! It is I, the…”
“It’s the Smiling Man!” I screamed at the foe.
The Fear seemed taken aback by this. “What? No! I’m not the Smiling Man!”
“He’s right.” Over Blogger said. “The Smiling Man is usually portrayed with more humanlike proportions and facial appearances. This is clearly something different.”
“Yes! As I was saying, I am…”
“It’s the Splendor Man!” I screamed again.
This proclamation was met with silence. “You… you mean from that parody video by Neil Cicierega?” Spacefuture Blogger said.
“Oh, he may have originated from a parody video.” I darkly replied. “But soon after, bloggers took it upon themselves to create genuine horror blogs featuring him!”
“Hm… no, that still doesn’t make sense.” Over Blogger thoughtfully said. “The Splendor Man wears a dark suit, not a multicolored one. Also he has eyes.”
“Thank you!” The Fear angrily said. “I’m not the Smiling Man or the Splendor Man! I am the….”
“It’s the mutant lovechild of the Smiling Man and Splendor Man!” I screamed once more.
“…. WHAT?!” The Fear screamed back. “How does that… that doesn’t make any…. I’m the Merryman! The fucking Merryman! Fear of the Irrational! You think just because I’m smiling I’m some kind of Smiling/Splendor ripoff? Lots of horror monsters smile! What, do you think the Red Cap and EAT are the same just because they’re both liquid?”
“You cannot trick me with your tricky whiles, SplendorSmiles Man!”
“…You know what? No. I’m done.” The Fear threw his hands up in the air in frustration. “I had something really cool planned. There were gonna be hallucinations, I was going to make you question what was real and what wasn’t, it was going to be really neat and everyone was going to have a good time. But you’ve ruined it. I’m done with this. I don’t even want to be a part of this stupid universe anyways. I’m going to see where the Vision went and hang out with her.”
As the Fear walked away, I nodded with satisfaction. “Another victory won for the forces of Good!”
Over Blogger seemed confused for some reason. “Did… did you actually plan that? Was that whole thing an act to beat him?”
“Silly Over Blogger, of course I planned it all!”
“Wow. That’s actually more impressive than what I would have thought from you.”
“The moment I saw the SplendorSmiles Man, I knew he was too cowardly to face me in direct combat! I just had to stand my ground, and he would run away like a coward! Even if they try to combine themselves, these Fears are no match for me!”
“Okay you know what I take what I said back. Let’s just… go and find the King Fear.”
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Death Rises Again! The Fuck's a Portrayal?!
After AEONS of slumber, it was finally time for me to resume my conquest of Fear!
My next foe found Spacefuture Blogger and I as we waited in a creepy old subway station. A creepy old subway station… OF DEATH! For you see, as we waited for the subway, the people in the station began to disappear. At first we were too consumed by our impatience to notice, but our situation became apparent when the spooky grey mist began washing around our heels. A terrifying figure emerged from this fog. He appeared to be a man, wearing a frayed and dirty white hoodie, with a gas mask covering his face and gray wings coming from his back. Flies swarmed around him, like carrion hovering over a corpse.
“I-impossible!” I yelled. “The Archangel? But I killed you!”
“Foolish Omega!” It said in a rasping voice. “I am not the Archangel. I am… The Blitz!”
“… The who now?”
“The Blitz is the portrayal of the afterlife from the Runner Verse.” Spacefuture Blogger said. “He first appeared in the blog ‘An Eye for an Eye.’”
“… The fuck’s a portrayal?”
“It’s a different interpretation of a concept, allowing for greater creative freedom instead of being bound to explore that concept only through preexisting Fears. I thought you would know this?”
“Dude I haven’t cameoed in a blog in like three years I have no clue what’s going on in the modern Mythos. But if this is going to be like the Archangel, then it’ll be easy!”
“Don’t get so overconfident!” The Blitz hissed. “I saw your fight with the Archangel, and I will not be defeated so easily! Before you can even touch me, you must get past my ZOMBIE HORDE!”
On the Blitz’s command, a legion of gas mask wearing zombies rose out of the fog! They rushed to attack us, forcing Spacefuture Blogger and I to desperately fight for our lives!
“Curses!” I yelled as a zombie bumped its head against me in a futile attempt to bite me through its gas mask. “If only I had some form of weapon, I could defeat these zombies easily!”
“What about your sword?” Spacefuture Blogger said.
“Don’t be ridiculous! I lost that in my fight with the Cold Boy!”
“You literally just used it against the Slender Man!”
“That was a special episode! It’s not canon! But it does give me an idea….” I leapt onto the zombies, kicking off their heads until I’d reached the Blitz.
“You’ve done well to reach me, but this is as far as you go!” It said. “Your fists cannot harm me!”
Undaunted by the Blitz’s taunts, I punched through its decaying, maggot infested flesh. And out from it I pulled my sword!
“What? But how?!”
“All true warrior’s weapons have an undying soul of their own! And I have reclaimed my sword’s soul from the afterlife! Now, DIE!” With a mighty swing, I cleaved the Blitz in two! As its body fell away, millions of lost souls came flying out of its torn corpse. As the last soul left its body, the Blitz and all his zombies crumbled away into dust. As he faded away, a floating women appeared in his place. Her hands were stained with ink, and her clothes were made of parchment covered in writing.
“Who are you, strange floating woman?” I said to the strange floating woman.
“I am the Over Blogger! The Fear of Bloggers!”
“Impossible! You died years ago!”
“True! But now that the Blitz has been slain, I have escaped the afterlife and returned to the land of the living! And I come to form an alliance with you, Omega!”
“An alliance with a Fear? Is such a thing even possible?”
“It is not only possible, it is necessary! Your campaign of Justice has attracted the attention of the King Fear, leader of the Fears! On your own, not even you are strong enough to defeat him! You must travel the world, gathering allies and honing your strength in preparation for the final showdown with his armies of evil!”
No doubt this King Fear will be the most powerful opponent I have ever faced. But with the power of JUSTICE and FRIENDSHIP, there is no foe I cannot defeat!
My next foe found Spacefuture Blogger and I as we waited in a creepy old subway station. A creepy old subway station… OF DEATH! For you see, as we waited for the subway, the people in the station began to disappear. At first we were too consumed by our impatience to notice, but our situation became apparent when the spooky grey mist began washing around our heels. A terrifying figure emerged from this fog. He appeared to be a man, wearing a frayed and dirty white hoodie, with a gas mask covering his face and gray wings coming from his back. Flies swarmed around him, like carrion hovering over a corpse.
“I-impossible!” I yelled. “The Archangel? But I killed you!”
“Foolish Omega!” It said in a rasping voice. “I am not the Archangel. I am… The Blitz!”
“… The who now?”
“The Blitz is the portrayal of the afterlife from the Runner Verse.” Spacefuture Blogger said. “He first appeared in the blog ‘An Eye for an Eye.’”
“… The fuck’s a portrayal?”
“It’s a different interpretation of a concept, allowing for greater creative freedom instead of being bound to explore that concept only through preexisting Fears. I thought you would know this?”
“Dude I haven’t cameoed in a blog in like three years I have no clue what’s going on in the modern Mythos. But if this is going to be like the Archangel, then it’ll be easy!”
“Don’t get so overconfident!” The Blitz hissed. “I saw your fight with the Archangel, and I will not be defeated so easily! Before you can even touch me, you must get past my ZOMBIE HORDE!”
On the Blitz’s command, a legion of gas mask wearing zombies rose out of the fog! They rushed to attack us, forcing Spacefuture Blogger and I to desperately fight for our lives!
“Curses!” I yelled as a zombie bumped its head against me in a futile attempt to bite me through its gas mask. “If only I had some form of weapon, I could defeat these zombies easily!”
“What about your sword?” Spacefuture Blogger said.
“Don’t be ridiculous! I lost that in my fight with the Cold Boy!”
“You literally just used it against the Slender Man!”
“That was a special episode! It’s not canon! But it does give me an idea….” I leapt onto the zombies, kicking off their heads until I’d reached the Blitz.
“You’ve done well to reach me, but this is as far as you go!” It said. “Your fists cannot harm me!”
Undaunted by the Blitz’s taunts, I punched through its decaying, maggot infested flesh. And out from it I pulled my sword!
“What? But how?!”
“All true warrior’s weapons have an undying soul of their own! And I have reclaimed my sword’s soul from the afterlife! Now, DIE!” With a mighty swing, I cleaved the Blitz in two! As its body fell away, millions of lost souls came flying out of its torn corpse. As the last soul left its body, the Blitz and all his zombies crumbled away into dust. As he faded away, a floating women appeared in his place. Her hands were stained with ink, and her clothes were made of parchment covered in writing.
“Who are you, strange floating woman?” I said to the strange floating woman.
“I am the Over Blogger! The Fear of Bloggers!”
“Impossible! You died years ago!”
“True! But now that the Blitz has been slain, I have escaped the afterlife and returned to the land of the living! And I come to form an alliance with you, Omega!”
“An alliance with a Fear? Is such a thing even possible?”
“It is not only possible, it is necessary! Your campaign of Justice has attracted the attention of the King Fear, leader of the Fears! On your own, not even you are strong enough to defeat him! You must travel the world, gathering allies and honing your strength in preparation for the final showdown with his armies of evil!”
No doubt this King Fear will be the most powerful opponent I have ever faced. But with the power of JUSTICE and FRIENDSHIP, there is no foe I cannot defeat!
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