Even though I had been personally invited by the King Fear to this tournament, I still had to go through the registration process for it. Damned red tape. The organizers at the arena were all human-sized chess pieces that somehow managed to move and talk on their own power. I had to ask some pawns for directions and was led to a small building outside the coliseum labeled as the registry and waiting area. Standing outside was Blind Man-sensei.
“Blind Man-sensei!” I called over to him. “What brings you here?”
“Now that my mastery of Kung-Fu is no longer a secret, I have decided to compete in the Martial Arts Tournament! Also you promised me more screen time in this blog, so I’m getting all the scenes I can get.”
“Well it is good to see you again, Blind Man-sensei! Now let us register for this tournament!”
A white rook sat at the registration desk. “Name, please. “It said to me as I approached.
“I am the hope of the universe! I am the champion of Justice! I am the defender of all who dream of Freedom! I am Super Omega!”
“…. Shorter name, please.”
“Omega.”
“Thank you. Please remember you are not to attack other tournament participants outside of the fights. Next!”
Spacefuture Blogger and Blind Man-sensei signed up next. Overblogger, however, stayed back. “Don’t you want to participate?” I asked. “You showed your fighting prowess in the Convocation fight!”
“No, my purpose is not to fight in this tournament.” She said. “I am to record it.”
***
All tournament participants and their parties were asked to stay in a waiting room in the registration building. The crowd packed into the room was unexpectedly mundane looking. I suppose when you think about it, a lot of Fears fall in the “looks mostly like a regular person but with some creepy stuff thrown in” formula. There had been a number of vibrant conversations taking place prior to our appearance, but Omega’s entrance silenced them faster than an awkward joke at a party. Dozens of supernatural eyes glared at our group with open hatred. Were it not for the rules of the tournament, I don’t doubt most of them would have tried to kill him right then and there.
While Spacefuture Blogger seemed appropriately nervous about being the center of attention for so many monsters, Omega was unfazed. “Look at this pathetic lot, Blind Man-sensei!” He’d clearly intended for that to be a whisper, but volume control was still a skill Omega had yet to gain any competence in. “This tournament will be no problem at all!”
“Beware hubris, my student.” The Blind Man sagely said. “It has been many great fighter’s downfall.”
“It is not hubris, but truth! Why, I bet I could fight every Fear in here right now and would still emerge victorious!”
Many of the Fears looked like they wanted to test that claim. Omega was saved from another series of painful deaths when the sounds of a scuffle drew the crowd’s attention away from him. Despite the restrictions on fighting here, someone had started throwing punches. The victim was lying on the ground, clutching what would have been his nose if he’d had a face. The aggressor was a wild looking man with a scarred face and a tangled mass of dark hair falling over his shoulders. “We meet again, Slender Man!” His voice boomed through the room, almost as loud as Omega’s usual speaking tone. It had a strange accent to it, like someone trying and failing to sound sophisticated. “At long last, you shall meet your fated demise at the hands of I, Arkady Ivanovich Svidrigailov!” If anyone else noticed that he had mispronounced “Arkady,” they didn’t say. It was clear why no one would want to confront him. Arkady seemed to radiate a violent mania. His lips were pulled back as far as they could in a sadistic smile, and his eyes darted across the room, looking for any excuse to fight.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” The faceless victim groaned. “I’m just a defense attorney!”
Arkady clearly wasn’t the type to pay any mind to what others were saying. “Your illusions won’t fool me this time! Today, I finally kill the Slender Man!”
A woman’s voice rang out. “Who’s going to kill the Slender Man?”
The crowd parted to le the speaker through, and two young woman appeared. The one in front’s appearance was striking. The blue suit, long coat, eyepatch, opened can of beer in her hand, and black hair reaching to her ankles were all created a unique appearance. But it was something more than that; some kind of inhuman charisma that demanded she be the center of everyone’s attention without her having to say a word. It was easy to miss the second woman, nervously hiding behind her bolder companion. “There’s only one person here who’s going to kill that suited asshole.” The eyepatched woman said with a bold smirk. “And that’s me, I-330.”
Arkady threw back his head and roared with overdramatical laughter. “You? Don’t get aspirations above your station! I am the only one worthy of challenging Slendy. The rest of you weaklings should just go back home.”
The smirk on I-330’s face remained, but it seemed stretched tighter as she forced herself to suppress her anger. “Lisa, hold my beer.” She said before passing her drink to her companion. “I have to punch a fucker.” For a moment, her eye turned bright red.
Security finally decided it should enforce its rules, and a large white knight piece smashed through the ceiling and landed between Arkady and I-330. “Fighting between participants is forbidden outside of matches.” It’s unnaturally monotone voice said.
“Screw your rules!” Arkady said. “I’m not going to miss this chance to finally kill Slender Man.”
“The man you punched was not the Slender Man.” The white knight continued. “He is Frank Slenderman, Ace Attorney.”
I-330 seemed to think for a moment. “But if that’s not Slender Man….” She mused. “Where is it? I was looking forward to settling some scores with it here.”
“The Slender Man is not a participant in this tournament on account of being dead.”
All the color drained from Arkady’s face upon hearing that. He staged back, almost as if he’d been punched in the gut. “Dead?” He croaked out. “How? Who?”
Omega burst onto this scene like fireworks at a funeral. “Twas I who slew the Slender Man!” He yelled.
Arkady’s face twisted with tremendous rage. “You!” He screamed, stomping towards Omega with his hands clenched into fists. “You stole my glory! You! You….” In a sudden instant, the rage fell away, and Arkady’s manic smile returned. “Yes! You! You shall be the next target on my hunt for glory! The one thing greater than defeating a god would be defeating a man who kills gods! I shall look forward to our battle, Omega!” With his final shout still ringing in our ears Arkady walked away, likely looking for someone to punch to occupy his time.
I-330 shook her head and chuckled with slight disbelief. “What an asshole. Speaking as someone who’s known a lot of assholes in my time, that there is a grade A son of a bitch.” Without any care for personal space, I-330 put her arm over Omega’s shoulder. “Congrats on taking down Slendy. You prolly already heard, but my names I-330. That’s Lisa there. Say hi, Lisa.”
The girl, keeping her eyes on the floor, mumbled something that might have been “Hello.”
“Isn’t she adorable?” I-330 said. “Anyways, just wanted to let you know, I’m going to kick your ass in the tournament for robbing me of my chance to get payback on that faceless fucker. Ciao!” And without any explanation how, she vanished into thin air. We scarcely had time to register our shock before she appeared again. “Sorry! Forgot my girlfriend can’t teleport. Come on Lisa, let’s go.” She took Lisa by the hand, and the two walked into the crowd.
This certainly is starting to seem like it will be an interesting tournament.
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