So there I was. Broken and defeated. Spacefuture Blogger and Overblogger were about as sympathetic as you’d expect.
“Any chance you know how to fix a broken leg?” Overblogger said as she poked my exposed and bloody bones with a stick.
"No." Spacefuture Blogger said. “In my time period, we treated bone injuries by cutting off the broken limb and replacing it with a cool robot prosthetic. What about you?”
“I’m the anthromorphic personification of the concept of people who write too many fearblogs. I’ve got no idea how human bones are supposed to work. Guess we need to take him to a hospital.”
“Wait!” I gasped out through the pain. “There’s no time for that! I need to stop the Dying Man before he destroys all I love!”
“I don’t know about that. He kinda totally wrecked you. I don’t think you’ll stand a chance if you fight him again.”
“Then I’ll just need to get stronger really fast!”
“How are you going to do that?”
“You’ll see! Now someone pick me up, we’ve got places to be!”
With Spacefuture Blogger and Overblogger carrying me, we set off on our journey. It was a strange trip, following secret and eldritch paths which eventually led us to the Blind Man’s library. The Blind Man met us at the gates.
“Omega! How did you find my domain?”
“Yeah that was me, sorry mate.” Overblogger said.
“But why, Overblogger? Why lead him here!”
I cut off Overblogger’s reply, as I had more important things to say. “Blind Man! I demand that you teach me all you know of Kung Fu, so that I may gain more power and defeat the Dying Man!”
“What? Kung Fu? Are you insane, my deal is memory, I’ve got nothing to do with martial arts.”
“Don’t try to deceive me! You’re really old! That means you must be a Kung Fu Master!”
“Curses, you have seen through my deception! You’re right, I am a master of Kung Fu. But I would never teach my secret techniques to one such as you, who fight against us Fears?”
“What if I promised you a large role in one of my blogs?”
The Blind Man hesitate for a moment before responding. “How big of a role?”
“A very important one! One that is absolutely vital to the plot!”
“Well, that does sound… Wait a minute! It’s this blog, isn’t it? You’re just going to make me a larger role in this blog!”
Darn, he didn’t fall for my trick! Well, no use trying to deceive him anymore. “Yes, you’re right, I was just going to write you into a few more posts of this blog, but come on. It’s not like you’re drowning in offers for blog appearances!”
“Just shows what you know! I’m still a very well regarded Fear! Lots of people want to use me in their stories!”
“Oh, pssh. There’s not many blogs out there right now, and none of them want to use some washed up old man like you! Now this is my final offer! You either teach me Kung Fu and get a spot in this blog, or you go back to being some obscure Fear none of the cool kids care about!”
“Fine! You win! I’ll train you! But first, you must pass a trial to prove your worth! You must ascend to the top of Mount Fear, where you will find the lost artifact of Ecived Tolp! Bring it to me to prove your worth, and I will train you!”
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